Other than me being sick, spirits have been pretty high. Rick will be having the final surgery tomorrow. He's holdin up really well. Even though surgery is tomorrow, he has his first PT today. He was very excited to tell me about it.

I had the opportunity to go with my mom and sister yesterday to see the Gaither Vocal Band. I have been a fan for a long time now. One of the members, Mark Lowry, is a comedian, and has a way of just lifting you up when you feel down. And it sure gave me even more courage. Bill Gaither wrote a song called Because He Lives. Here is the chorus:

Because he lives
I can face tomorrow
Because he lives
All fear is gone
Because i know he holds the future
And life is worth the living
Just because he lives.


And it really is that simple. Because He lives, we can trust that He is with us at all times.

Many of my friends have said that my faith is inspiring, that I am strong. Well, guess what, I don't feel strong. My faith is being tested, I'm hurting, we are hurting. What couple just shy of their 2nd wedding anniversary, accepts truly what is happening. It is the scariest thing I've ever had to deal with. I'm sure it won't be the scariest when we are even older, but right now, I'm scared. Sometimes I feel numb. I doubt. I cry. I scream. I question many things.

But without knowing that He lives, and that He is ALWAYS here, I would be a complete mess. I wouldn't be getting out of bed, I wouldn't want to care. But I do. I know he is with me always.

The Gaither's are also in the process of recording a new song. The chorus was this:

You reap exactly what you sow,
sow mercy,
sow grace,
sow kindess,
sow faith,
words are like water sprinkled with love
You will harves all your hearts been dreaming of.

I will leave you with those words. If I can't trust and put my faith first through all of this, I can't show that to my husband or to anyone else.